What's In A Name?
So I have been thinking about this for weeks, and struggling to wrap my mind around a decision with the whole thing. As an artist, there are seasons that you go through creatively, personally, spiritually, and all the rest. These seasons will test you, hurt you, but ultimately grow you to be the person you are to be.
When I began my music journey back in 2008, I wanted to reinvent myself. I was known for leading worship, and singing gospel tunes. It was a wonderful time for me, but I felt as though something was missing. During the summer of 2009, I lived with some cats who were trying to do music also. I learned about other genres, and styles of performance. I fell in love with hip hop all over again. I started battle rapping (can you even imagine it?). It was during that same time that I began songwriting. Penning these wonderful choruses and telling detailed stories about my own life reminded me of the beauty of music. I started songwriting at like 14 or 15, but I had stopped for whatever reason. So when I started to write again, all of the feelings started to rush back. I would write these R&B songs, and so I thought I needed a new name to showcase my stuff. Enter: SCOTTIE BARNES. This was my alter ego, my Batman to Bruce Wayne. I embodied all that came with it. I was slick with my words, women, and life to be honest. I thought that in order to be a certain type of artist, you had to live a certain lifestyle, so I tried it. It worked for a second, but not for very long. Years passed, and while I was still doing music, most of it was in the background. I would write for other artists, send my stuff off to Nashville, NYC, LA, DC. I would get paid sometimes, others I would not. I was always in the background though. That became a comfortable place for me, and there was a freedom to it. I remember like 2012 was a good time musically for me. I had broken off a relationship, and the pain I felt made way for new music. I was hard and cold, and the songs that came out of that were some of the realest I had ever written. See, for a while I would just write for people. Tell their stories. It was total crap to me, but they liked it. So I continued to write this same stuff. After the heartache, I was finding myself as a songwriter. Fast forward some years and I had not only grown as a songwriter, but also a musician. I had taught myself to play the guitar as well as the piano, and so now I am ready to get off the bench, and get into the game. Enter: BRNES. A wordplay on my first name, I liked it. It raised questions for those who saw it. It was a conversation piece. I garnered attention for it. It was so good. I liked it. So that's what I had been going with up to the present.
Recently, i was thinking about what it meant to carry a name. I am named for my father, and he and his father share a first name, so there is a lineage that follows suit. For many years I struggled with carrying the torch of a name with me. I am proud of my dad. He is everything to me. For years, I felt like I wasn't good enough to be his junior. Until recently. I am finally at a place where I know who I am. I am confident in my own space, and there is nothing that really can shake me. Yea, I go through things, but I resolve from them. I dust myself off, and continue to fly. That's just who I am. As such, many of the insecurities that I felt about myself have gone away as well. I am not afraid of the future. I am not afraid to cry. I am not afraid to love. I am not afraid. So with that confidence came the realization that I don't need anything else. I am good being me. I don't need another name, I don't need a catchy anything, I just need to be me. So with that, allow me to reintroduce myself, B.A. SCOTT. Alvin and Toni's boy, who makes dope music, and tries to make the world a better place around me. Maybe this post was just for me. I don't know. But maybe this is also for somebody who is afraid to be themselves, and share their truth. Well this is a part of mine. My truth. Take it or not, this is me.
Be you. You are the best version of you there is.
I hope you read it all. It was short, sweet and to the point.
Blessings you all.