Decisions, decisions...

I find myself at an interesting place. Two months ago, I was released from my job (with a generous severance mind you), and so I was once again thrust into the job hunt. Much like dating after a divorce, I felt out of practice, and I didn't know how to do it. See, I haven't applied for a job since my first at 15 (I am now 29). I have always been recruited to work with someone, asked to help out with something that turned into a job, or just been myself, and jobs have come to me. I would go on interviews for fun, just to tell somebody no. It was good practice for me to sharpen my interpersonal communication skills. I don't know. It's a different thing completely when you HAVE to find work. It is frustrating, at times discouraging, and overall a nauseating problem to have. I didn't talk much about it, because I am too prideful to ask for help, and too anal to allow someone to help me.

So I sat. For months. In my house alone during the day. To most, it seemed as if I was on a vacation, but as the funds slowly began to deplete, the stress became real. Now I am responsible, so I had a buffer in case of emergencies (side note: get an emergency savings account if you don't have one), and I also have stocks that I could cash in if needed. In spite of all that, the phone still wasn't ringing. Did no one want me? Was I not good enough? I spent a month going on interview after interview, driving from city to city, just looking for a chance. But nothing. A friend of mine asked me to come and help him with a youth conference, leading worship. I reluctantly said yes, and to be honest the only reason I went was because they paid me to do it (again, no job=I need the cash). When I got there, I had a real encounter with God, one that I had not experienced in a while. Also, I started to really bond with these kids I was leading. I preached on night, and it really seemed as if they were connecting with what I was saying. Fast forward a month, and through some conversations I get asked to be the youth pastor at this church. Seems like a perfect fit. I took time and prayed over it, and I felt like God was opening a door for me.

During this time, I was still going on interviews for job opportunities. One job in the town I currently live seemed to be perfect for a 9-5, but that fell through, and really pissed me off (and trust me, I told them such). Another opportunity would require me to move, and with that, not be able to take the position at the church. It has been a journey. Driving up for interviews in person (literally once a week for the past 5 weeks). It seemed to be moving slowly, but then in the past 2 weeks, it has picked up speed, concluding with me interviewing the top person in this department  about my moving and working.

So as I wait for the final verdict, I start a job at a retail store literally today.I hate working retail. It seems to be something that I am good at, but not hardly a passion. It will put money in my pocket, and it will pay my bills, but I hope I don't have to be here long. So as I wait for a phone call that could change my life, i am serving at a church that I might not stay with, and working a job I don't want to be at. With that, the real question becomes...should I even do it? Should I tell the church that the time is not right (even though they are all in with me, and it will hurt them to have that conversation), and not work this retail job? Or do I use wisdom and be faithful in the mean time until the real answer is revealed? I don't know, but it leaves me with decisions...

B.A. Scott