I took the week off to enjoy the thanksgiving holiday. By enjoy the thanksgiving holiday, I worked 34 hours at the store I manage PT in Charlottesville. If you are ever in C-Ville on a weekend, come see me. I don’t know anyone there, and it gets kinda lonely. But the money is good. And so necessary.
Fun fact, I got a new car! After the whole accident thing, I was able to find a new one. Also, fun fact, the day after I got it, a deer hit me. So now she is currently being worked on. Still though, I got a new baby for the foreseeable future.
There were a lot of things on my mind this week that I wanted to address in my blog post, so I will give a few little blurps into my thoughts before I get into all other stuff.
1. I think that there needs to be a way to police what is currently going on in our culture. For too long, we sat around let people assault others without so much as a word. We would make light of it, ignore it, and call those who stood up for themselves liars. Now that people are beginning to step up and speak, there is a wave of quick responses without investigating. If someone says that you assaulted them, we automatically believe them, and make judgements based on what they say. I don’t believe that to be right either. While ignoring is completely wrong, what message are we sending if we just quickly make judgements on the other side. You can say it’s because I am a man, you can say it’s because of privilege (which on all fronts is bogus), call it what you want, I am speaking the truth. If I woke up tomorrow, and said that someone sexually assaulted me, everyone would believe me. Not because I am necessarily telling the truth, but because no one wants to be the one to question the victim. Because victims have been ignored for so long, we are now at a place where we believe everything. There are those in our society who do terrible things to people, everyday. There are also those who lie, everyday. Instead of rushing to judgement to fulfill some complex of guilt that we all have, why don’t we set the example by giving people due process to defend themselves. If after the process, they are found to be guilty, then punish. Innocent until proven guilty has gotten out of hand, yes. But we should not assume guilt on everyone either.
2. Speaking on this subject, I think it is important to note that men can be victims as well. It is just as difficult for a man to tell his story, then for a woman to share hers. Men get assaulted also, but because we are men, it is rarely seen that way. Men are raped, sexually assaulted/harassed at their jobs, abused by their significant other, all of those, with not so much as a word. If we are having a war on abuse, then it must be all across the board. Fair is fair. Final thought, it is not just man on man or woman on woman assault either. News flash, women assault men. Is it as common? Not that we hear. But that does not mean it doesn’t exist.
3. The Packers season is hopeless.
4. Colin Kapernick deserves a job.
5. I love the military, but I hate senseless violence. If kneeling will bring awareness, then keep kneeling.
I never see myself as a poet, I truly don’t. Poetry is all about delivery, and how words are received. So please just read the following sentences from my heart. I wrote these years ago, and I don’t think I have ever shared them. But this pretty much sums up where I am right now…
I'm breaking up with you.
Not because I don't love you,
not because you don't make me smile,
Not because of the memories that we’ve been a part of
or the nights that drove me wild
I'm not breaking up because I hate you
you’ve never done me any wrong
we’re not breaking up because you cheated, you’ve been so true to me, but at this for so long
I'm breaking up because there’s more to me
and because of this I can't be true
I'm breaking up because I've become obsessed with you
I'm mistook service for obligation, and did all the right things
I danced when you asked, spoke words when called, and when you needed music I would sing
I gave you every piece of me
and even more than I am not
but I have to let you go, and it’s hard but I have to stop
I gave you intimacy without relationship, for that I apologize
I laid down with you without commitment, that's so wrong in my eyes
so here is farewell, and I mean fair-well
but for now I have to leave you, and you might not take that well
you can have your traditions, and formalities, please don't change for me
soon enough with time maybe then you'll see
but if you're blinded by emotions
if hate won't let you see
if your attitude clouds your thought process
I'll still be unafraid to be me
because my foundation is solid
my thoughts are so real
I'm breaking up because I found something, and this thing I can truly feel
so religion don't be mad
liturgy don't be upset
legalism don't cry any tears for me
because I promise it gets better yet
no more collars, no more tests
no more concerts or convocations
if you feel important in it, do you
but me, I’ve got the revelation
I'm over it.
and it's not because I'm so young.
this is not a phase to get over, I will not come around
what if I'm right?
that's a huge question to answer
what if all this that we do for show is killing the message like cancer
what if the gospel has become diluted by the dancing that we do
how did discipleship take a backseat to black robes, and tight suits
where did this come from?
its question we must answer
what is the basis for the belief that we stand for
what did he pay the ransom
see I’ve fallen in love all over again
its makes me laugh, makes me cry
the reality that I’ve come to in all of this: I know why he died
he died because I'm broken
he died because I lied
he died because I put an idol up
and when he called, I declined
because I know all of this, I'll give my entire life
because I'm no longer bound by anything, I walk with my head held high
So don't worry, I'm not leaving
you’ll see me from time to time
I'm all about supporting people unlike myself
I'll pray when you cross my mind
to say that this religion is something I hold to
if those words ever cross my lips again, it wouldn’t be true
so come here, hug me, say good ridden, and from here we'll part ways
but I pray and hope that'll you will understand me in new and exciting ways
but if not, that's ok
here's my decision
I'm respectfully walk away
I lost my religion