Thank You

Hello.

Thank you for continuing on this journey with me.

I appreciate each and every person that comes to visit the site and for the creative community as a whole that I have had the privilege to be a part of. I appreciate each of you who message me, comment and debate your valid points with mine. It is truly an honor. While a lot of my content up to this point on this online blog has been lifestyle related, I will be taking a hiatus from that to focus on what I truly love, and that is music. I realized that as a musician, I rarely talk about music on my blog. That will be changing in the month of April. My content on the site will be more geared towards music as a whole. Reviews of albums, talking through the process of being a songwriter and things of that such will be what my online forum is primarily for. I will still be communicating my thoughts on life, love, and everything in between in a new format: My Own Podcast!!!!!! If you would like to follow me, the podcast is called “N-Word. Inward. In Word: A Podcast”. I will be reaching out to some of you in order to have you on with me to talk and interview you, so be on the lookout for that (I am in the market for a co-host). The first episode is on iTunes now, and it is serving as a placeholder until I record the first full show. Please subscribe!!! The first full episode will release on Friday, April 6.

Again, thank you for your support!

 

B.A. Scott
March 26 is a special day because...

Before I get into all the details, I must first apologize. You see, when I was growing up, I had an authority complex. I thought that I was smarter than everyone. Adults would attempt to give me direction, and I would shun their requests away. When I was at home, there was no difference. Any time that I did not like or want to do anything, I would argue about it, or just not do it. I would come up with reasons as to why not, and I can only imagine how my parents had to have felt raising me. It was a lot. Now as an adult, I can fully understand why adults do and say the things that they do. So, momma, I am so sorry. I get it now.

Today is a special day in the Scott family. We have the privilege to celebrate 2 women in our family, who happen to share a birthday.

Mom

Growing up, I was not really a momma’s boy. Me and my mom got along, but I spent a lot of time with my dad. My dad would pick me up from school, my dad liked to stay up late as I do now, we just got along. With that, I was not as close to my mom as my older sister was. I even remember when we would go back to Portsmouth for vacations and such, my sis and my mom would always stay together, and my dad and I would go to his family’s house. We would still see each other, but it wasn’t as often. As I started to grow up, I distanced myself from both of my parents as most teenagers do. I was trying to figure out my life on my own and I didn’t need their help to do so. HA, the lies. When I got to college, things started to change. I saw my mom more often, and we would talk and stuff. It was cool having her around. I needed her more than I led on. I never really had a full understanding of just how much my mom did for me until years later. My mother was always in my corner. She did things behind the scenes to make sure that I was always taken care of. Whether she will admit it or not, I am her favorite child, and she made sure that her actions backed that up. There have been some low times in my life, and my mother has always had my back. There have been hard conversations that I had to have and she would just listen. I remember when I found myself in a situation a few years ago and I was petrified to speak to my mom about it. I wasn’t scared of punishment, I am an adult on my own. I was more afraid of the disappointment. When I did talk to her about it, she wasn’t mad at all. She wanted to make sure that her son was taken care of, and that the truth was said about me. We are all moved on from that, but I will never forget those moments. I needed that during that time because no one else was on my side. Literally not one friend. That was a dark time, but because of her strength, I was able to be strong for myself. I never want to let her down. That’s why I finished school, did well, things like that. I always wanted to make her proud. My mother comes from a long line of strong women, and she is no different. Her silence is not for weakness; I believe to be a warning. I have seen my mother when she is angry, and it’s not something that you want to take on. I think because of her self-awareness, she keeps to herself. There is wisdom in that. Me and my mom are at a place now where we are friends. Not only is she my mom, but she is someone that I can count on, and someone I can talk to when I need her. I also know that she will always be in my corner. Whether I am right or wrong, she looks out for me. I am so grateful for that, and that’s why I consider it an honor to celebrate her. She is forever my lady.

 

J

So I remember exactly where I was when she was born. I was in the hospital, sweating from walking to the hospital from my house (why I didn’t drive is beyond me). I walked in the hospital, and moments later, she was here. It was so exciting. Having a niece has been the most rewarding of things in my life. Literally being a part of her growing into the woman that she is becoming is amazing. She is brilliant and creative. There is a level of maturity that she has that most her age don’t possess. She is a leader naturally, and that is so amazing to see. She has dealt with a lot in her short life, and she has handled every situation. Sometimes, isee myself in her. She is literally a mini version of me.

So on your birthday, just know that you are loved. I am so proud to be your Uncle B, and I don’t take it for granted at all. I am so excited for the woman that you are becoming and so excited for your future. You have all the tools to be whatever it is that you want to be. I pray that God keeps you and that every attack of the enemy is bound up. Nothing will harm you because you are covered by the blood of Jesus. You are covered!! Happy birthday to you.

 

B.A. Scott
Holy Rolling

If you realized anything about my blog, it is that my subjects are strictly based on inspiration. I don’t typically have a plan to what I am going to write until it hits me, and I like that. It keeps it fresh and exciting for all that read. Today is no different. Today I am going to talk about church a little bit. So please continue reading.

I was raised in a household where we went to a Baptist church. My home church in Portsmouth, VA, is a Baptist church, and for most of my life, it was all that I ever knew. When I was in middle school, my youth group where I said yes to Jesus for the first time was through a Baptist church. Whether big or small, country or urban, black or white, it was always this type of church. I enjoyed it for the most part, and it was cool to watch the progression of the church over the years. In spite of all that, I always felt like something was missing for me. There were certain things that I was not sure I believed or understood, there were things that I did not fully agree with, but I was a kid, so I did what I was told. In the summer of 2012, I found myself in a place where I was looking for a church. The church I had been a part of during my time in college didn’t really fit the phase of life that I was in, and although it wasn’t bad, I had stopped going completely. I would wake up on most Sundays and either go to work, or I would visit different places. It was cool. I remember running into a friend of mine who had invited me to their church for Easter that year, and I decided to go back. Little did I realize that my friend was a pastor to one of the fastest growing churches in our area. This church was exciting, loving, the music was great, and the pastor preached truth with passion. It was a fun place to visit. It was the Ramp Church International. I had visited in undergrad with some of my homeboys before, but we weren’t looking for God at that time. This church happened to have all the fine black girls at Liberty University going there, and so being the knuckleheads that we were, we decided to go and try to play church (it didn’t work, these women are the real deal about Jesus). Fast forward 4 years, and now I am back at this place. I remember feeling out of place for all of about 5 minutes, and that was due to my own insecurity, but then being welcomed in. It was a wonderful experience that I will take forever.

While being at this church, I began to form a deeper relationship with my friend who was the pastor. We would stay up for hours talking about the bible, and he would help me to understand things that I had questions about. This church taught me about theology in a new way and also taught me to research and learn things for myself so that I would be able to talk about my faith with confidence. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t just doing what everyone else wanted to me to, I was learning it for myself. I had wonderful “firsts” during that time. I was able to freely express myself in worship (I got a little step lol), I saw people healed from sickness, I laid hands on people and the Holy Spirit worked through me. It was scary but real. I was baptized in Jesus name at this church, I spoke in tongues, and understood it (I was in a service in Trinidad the first time I ever spoke in tongues, it freaked me out, and I never told anyone about it. This was a different time.). These were all things that growing up, I was told were taboo, or fake. I learned that they were real and alive.

It’s an unfortunate thing, but many look at those that worship in the ways I have mentioned before as though they are faking it, or that it’s too much. They sit in their churches every week as though their way is the only way that works. It’s dumb, to be honest, and it can be hurtful as well. The authenticity of these people is amazing. People shout, scream, run, but some also sit quietly, and commune with God. That’s what many miss. Doing these things aren’t requirements, these things are in response. That’s what worship is. A response to what God has done, is doing, and going to do in our lives. Most that I know don’t go to church because they want to. If they are honest with themselves they go because they have to. They need a body of believers to help them along their Christian walk. That’s the purpose of the church, “To equip believers to do the work of ministry.” That’s it. Anything else other than that has no eternal value. It doesn’t matter how you do it, the point is that you do it. You might never move, or clap, and shout, but if in your quietness God is moving and working, then that’s enough. It’s for you.

I wish that I could tell you that I am still there. I am not. I fell during my time serving in ministry, and because of that entire situation, I ended up leaving. I can take full responsibility for my actions, and I repented, but church is a 2-way street. Honestly, I felt like I didn’t have the choice, and if I could go back, I would do it all the same way. In times of hardship, people will show their true colors. Those colors were shown to me, and painted a picture that I didn’t want to look at. So I moved on. However, I would not be the person I am today without the time spent there, and I am thankful for it. I still have love for that place, and it will forever be in my heart. Maybe one day we will reconnect, and I can reconcile it all. Maybe not. I have no idea, and that’s ok. Jesus is still alive, and real. That’s all that truly matters.

B.A. ScottComment